You don’t want to be unique. Unique is a lonely place. In the overbearing silence of loneliness, there is pain. No one wants to be alone. Being unique, being different, is a good way to be exactly that way.
What exactly do I mean by unique? I mean to be different then others. To not fit in. To not be one of a thousand other identicals. But isn’t it cool to be different? The lone wolf is sexy, mysterious and a compelling image of what many of us want to be: “totally sigma.” It may be compelling and all of the above, but it is a miserable place too.
To be alone is to be lonely. Maybe we don’t want to be alone because (and I say this with the power of God, anime and a little bro science) (jk I don’t actually watch anime lol) we are vulnerable alone. We have no allies to rely upon in case of danger. No one to call for help. Yet so many of us are alone, more or less.
We are not happy alone. So much of our happiness as humans is entirely dependent on human connection. However, somehow it is easier to wish ourselves to be Jon Wick than to actually go out and make friends. After all, we are unique and different right? This does nothing for us except make us feel a little better about our current situation. A lie even. A simple coping mechanism.
The good news is, you probably aren’t all that unique anyways. Just because we think we are doesn’t make us anymore then me thinking I am as sexy as Johnny Sins makes me not virgin. If we were to take the hobbies and traits that make up you and me I am sure we share them with tens of thousands of other people at worst, millions or billions at best. And thank god! If we didn’t share them with others what would we talk about and relate to with others? Shared experience and temperament are foundational in social interaction. If we have nothing in common with other people, we cannot have friends. Shit, taken to the extreme we can’t even talk about anything really.
Being unique isn’t a good thing. It’s not a bad thing either. It’s a trait to be different from others. One downside is that people may have trouble connecting with us because we are perhaps aloof or weird. That’s okay, but we will need to learn to connect with others before we can be fulfilled and happy.
-C